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Chile Pepper Honey: From the Adventures of Greedy dePu

In Humor by Mark MaskerLeave a Comment

Thanks to a horde of bees and a little greed from yours truly, I’m pretty sure my neighbors now hate me. That’s what happens when you take your own sweet time calling a beekeeper to relocate honeybees from your garage. By which I mean, I let the hive grow untouched for three months once I noticed the busy little guys flying in and out of the top left corner of my garage door. I’d have let my minions stew longer but the neighbors threatened to call the authorities if I didn’t get rid of them. Fine. No honey for you, neighbors.

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The Right Way to Burn Your House

In Humor by Mark Masker1 Comment

“What do you mean, ‘your apartment’s on fire?’ I asked while cramming yet another slice of juicy, smoked tri-tip roast into my maw. That’s a pretty stupid question, actually. There’s no ambiguity when it comes to being on fire; you either are or you aren’t. Don’t believe me? Ask a Buddhist monk protesting a war and see what he says. Anyway, it turns out my ego mislead me into incredulity. Yet again.